I think reality hit last night. My mom was over and we were chatting about the upcoming delivery, what we still needed to pick up for my hospital bag and other newborn topics. I suddenly felt a little bit panicky. I'm 36 weeks pregnant now, which means that this baby will most likely be here in the next four weeks. In fact, he could even show up in a week from now! Not likely, but possible. Scary!
I thought that maybe I was suddenly getting nervous about the delivery. After all, labour is no Saturday afternoon picnic. But I don't think that's what really freaks me out. I think it more has to do with the shift of going from a one child family to two. My moms response? "We'll, there's no going back no hunny!" Gee, thanks momma.
I also suddenly starting thinking about Noah and how this little 20 month old will no longer be my only little boy. He will always be my baby, but things will be different. I started getting emotional just thinking about when I have to leave him for the hospital. I wish I could just take him with me, but I know that's ridiculous and that he wouldn't want to see me like that anyways. He doesn't even do well seeing me get my blood pressure checked at the doctors office! I do find myself worrying about who will watch him when we have to go to the hospital and how he'll respond to it. 90% of the time my mother babysits him, but she'll be with me at the hospital this time. I guess we'll be relying heavily on our cell phones to stay in touch and make it as easy as possible for both Noah and the sitter.
I hope once baby Asher comes I'm good at balancing my time between the two children and that they both feel loved and important. I'm sure I'll figure it out. Just like we moms do when we have our firsts and are trying to figure out how to sleep, eat and manage the household chores with a crying baby. I'll adjust. So grateful that Matt is able to use two weeks of his vacation time for the arrival - that'll be a huge help!
I think this is one of those situations where I just need to have faith that everything will be okay. Gods got a plan for our family and I trust that He knows best in every circumstance. But I certainly wouldn't turn down a few extra prayers going up for us in the coming weeks ;)
I started panicking around the same time you did! I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle a newborn and a very needy toddler. It worked out, it takes some adjusting for EVERYONE, but don't worry, you'll do great! I was also worried about Abigail being away from me during labour, but my Mum was with her and she hardly noticed I was gone as I was back home within 12 hours of delivering Susanna.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you take those first two weeks to really bond with your little baby. After Mat is at work you'll be juggling both and won't get the same bonding time you had with Noah! Don't worry though, they don't notice ;)
You'll do great, it's funny how second babies are just way more chill and relaxed- I think it's because they have to be!
Thanks Andrea! I think if I were leaving Noah with my mom I'd be a lot calmer about the whole thing. She knows his schedule completely and I wouldn't have to even think about taking off to the hospital if she were with him. Maybe I need to consider just going to the hospital with Matt? It's not at all that I don't trust the other people we have talked to about watching him. It's more the fact that it'd all be up in the air until the last minute since everyone has a different schedule.
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