Lately I have enjoyed watching the Little House on the Prarie series on DVD. After I watch it I always find myself thinking, 'Wow, that Carolyn Ingles is a super mom! I mean the woman raises multiple children, lives in a tiny cabin with no electricity and wears the same two outfits day in and day out. She cooks, she cleans, she farms, she walks 3 miles just to get groceries; and she's happy doing it!' Yes, I know it's a tv show and not necessarily reality. But back in the olden days that was reality and for the most part I think that is a pretty accurate portrayel.
We live in a very different time. Information on everything is at our fingertips and communication between others is constant. When someone is pregnant or has a baby, you can find out via text, facebook or sent photo how they are raising that child. It's easy to start comparing ourselves to eachother.
So today I want to talk about us moms and the pressure we put on ourselves to be a 'super mom.' What is your definition of a super mom? Is it someone who always has a clean house, clean children and looks as good as she did before she had children? Is it someone who breastfeeds for a year or two years and only feeds her children organic home made baby food? Or maybe someone whose baby is dressed in the latest and greatest, rides around in a $800 stroller and has never had a disposable diaper touch their hiney.
And this pressure doesnt just start when you have a baby, it starts before! What is your nursery going to look like? Are you going to buy all new furniture for baby? Are you going to get an epidural during labor? How many children do you plan to have? Two? Only two? Thats not a family! Or four? You want four children? How on earth will you provide everything your children could possibly want when you have four?
Please dont get me wrong here, I am not saying any of these things are necessarily bad and I have definitely participated in some of these things and conversations. Some, I stress again, some may be good choices for your family. I think the thing we really need to exam when we make choices about our children is why we are making them in the first place.
Is it to project a certain image? Is it to keep up with a fellow mommy friend? Is it to appear more successful then other moms around us? Because if it is, we are greatly missing the mark.
All of us mothers have had days where we dont feel like weve done our best, and oh boy have I been there. Days where the baby has cried more then usual and I havent had the time or the energy to change out of my pj pants and cook my husband dinner. Days where toys are scattered throughout the house and the dishes are still sitting in the sink at the end of the day. But what I have come to realize is that thats okay! Its okay to not always have it all together or to always know the answer. Some days are just plain hard and we shouldnt shy away from admitting that. A friend once told me that on those days, our goal as a mother is to simply keep everyone alive. Easier said then done, but it does bring into perspective what really matters.
If you are reading this blog... which means you have access to the internet, you are probably in a situation where really you have everything you need to survive. So moms, lets stop comparing and competing please. Lets focus on what really matters, having happy healthy children whom we shower with love - no matter what we look like while doing it or what vehicle they ride in. We are all just doing the best we can.