I had a bit of an emotional breakdown the other night. I hadnt gotten out of the house in a few days and was starting to feel like I didnt have a life anymore. I think this feeling had been building for a while actually.
Before I got married and had kids I was just Carolyn. Sure I was someones daughter... sister... friend... coworker even. But first a foremost, I was Carolyn.
Then I got married and became a wife. Naturally, I want to be the best wife I can be because my husband is an amazing man. I want to have a clean house, meals prepared and keep myself looking attractive because thats what a good wife does. But I still went off to work 5 days a week and was Carolyn for 8 hours a day.
Then I had my son, Noah. He is the most amazing little guy ever. I became mom. Its a very demanding title. I love it, but its certainly not easy.
Suddenly, being 'wife' and 'mum' is taking up all of my time and thoughts. I know that Carolyn is still in there, but sometimes I feel like shes been pushed down somewhere inside of me. I think it has to do with the fact that I really have no time for myself anymore. I am always concerned about making sure everyone else is happy and okay.
I hope im not coming across as selfish or ungrateful for my life - because I really do love my life. I have a very blessed life! But I need to make a conscience effort to do things that I want to do now and then, without feeling guilty about it.