A day all to ourselves

It was fairly last minute, but my mother offered a few days ago to watch our one year old so that hubby and I could have a day completely to ourselves to do whatever we wanted. She even offered to take him for the night so we could really get away, but it just wasn't in the budget at this time to spend money on a hotel. It was surprisingly difficult to come up with ideas of how to spend our childless Saturday, more so because at this stage in pregnancy I'm just not too comfortable walking any great distance or being far away from a washroom for more then 15 minutes. We brought up several times how nice it would have been to go for a nice long walk through our favourite Tynehead park, but I knew there was no way I could make it.

What did we do? We started out the morning with a Starbucks coffee date. We drank our free (much to hubbies happiness) drinks and had a nice long uninterrupted conversation. We originally planned to wander Chapters but found we were quite content to just talk - so nice! Then we broke the child free date rule and went to Once Upon a Child to find Noah some 'new' shoes. We justified it by saying that it's nearly impossible to shop together with a kid running around. That's fair right? From there it was off to Olive Garden for a long relaxing peaceful lunch. Again, uninterrupted conversation and unlimited time to talk about whatever we wanted. After lunch we drove around Langley, Aldergrove and Abbotsford to get a better idea of some neighbourhood's as we begin thinking about where we would like to buy a detached home. We even checked out a few show homes, which is totally something we did together all the time before having kids haha. We ended up back at my parents around 3:30pm to visit a bit before taking Noah home.

So what did we discover from this day of freedom? We learnt that we aren't very exciting people! To be honest, were kind of boring. Sure it was nice to have some quiet time to chat and remember what life was like as just a couple, but we found that we didn't need an entire day for that. A few hours out for dinner or coffee would be more then sufficient for Matt and I to catch up and reconnect, so maybe we just need to make more of an effort to do that.

Reflecting back, I totally thought that we had 'lost' a sense of ourselves as a couple by being busy parents, but it just wasn't so. Our life is so much more fun where we are! Kids get so excited about everything and in turn it makes us excited by seeing experiences through them. If anything, this day just made me even more excited to add another member to our family.
Sure, there are crappy days where time outs are had and the tears are flowing (both from child and momma) but those amazing joyous every day moments more then make up for them.

SAHM confession - It can be lonely!

I have a confession to make... Being a stay at home mom can be very lonely.

This has been on my brain the last 48 hours and I debated blogging about it, because being a stay at home mom is a wonderful blessing and I don't want to give off the wrong impression. I know many are not lucky enough to be able to stay home so I don't want to seem ungrateful for the circumstance that I am lucky to be in. But it's the truth. And after reading several articles that have been circulating lately about what a mom should or shouldn't do I feel compelled to elaborate on my thoughts.

I am a social person. I always have been. I love to be around and chat with people about anything and everything. Before I had kids I worked full time in various jobs that still allowed me to be around people a majority of the time. On long draining days I dreamt of being able to stay at home when I had kids and how much 'easier' it would be to do so. But suddenly you become a mom and it's just you and kids 24/7 and a long list of things that need to be done around the house. Again, not such a horrible thing, but it's not always easy either.

Often during the day I find myself watching the clock for when my husband will get home. Yes, sometimes it's because I am desperate for a break and a little bit of 'me' time. But it's also just the fact that in a few hours I will have another adult to converse with. Or even simply to sit next to! Someone who doesn't require me to wipe their nose, change their bottom or entertain them. Plus, when it's my husband it's someone who loves me very much and who I dislike being away from.

I have things that I do to keep myself distracted or from getting too lonely. Play groups, phone calls, church activities and home schedules that I follow. All help combat that feeling of having no one to talk to but your toddler. Yes, even facebook helps to get in bit of 'social time.' And It's not like I am sitting around with nothing to do all day! Trust me, it's quite the opposite! That is where part of the battle comes in! I find myself thinking, "hmm, I should invite so and so over for tea." But then I either convince myself they'd be too busy for me anyways or else I think about the state my house is in and drop the idea. But there are still some weeks or days where it gets hard. And I know I am not the only one who feels this way.

Every moment of our day is dedicated to our families. It's our calling and we are happy to do it. Most of the time I love it! But I just had to throw it out there in case others aren't aware or in case mothers with grown up children have forgotten (because I am sure they felt this way then too!)

It can be lonely.

Establishing a new routine (and cutting myself some slack)

I like to be organized and get things done. I hate days where I feel like I've accomplished nothing, and I hate when my house is in a state of disarray. I can be pretty hard on myself too and make myself feel like a bad wife or mother if things don't turn out the way I foresaw them going.

For quite a while now, my routine is that I get up when Matt does (around 7am), get Noah up, changed and fed as well as do all this for myself before he's gone at 8:00. That is barely an hour or time. Then I'd switch into tidying/cleaning the house gear and try to get everything done in the shortest amount of time possible. My thought process was that this would make my day easier. But I've come to realize that it's actually the opposite. I exhaust myself so much and end up having countless hours of free time (with Noah) that I'm not totally sure how to fill.

With the anticipation of our second child coming this year I've started a new routine, one that I can hopefully somewhat carry over into our new life. It goes a little something like this.

Night before: shower
7:00-8:00am: get Noah up, changed and have breakfast together.
8:00-9:00am: 'Momma time' (have my coffee, go on my ipad, chat with my mom) while Noah plays or watches an episode of 'George'
9:00-10:30am: I get dressed and do my hair followed my housework. Noah plays wherever I am.
10:30-12:00: snack time and then take Noah either out on an errand or outside for some fresh air, followed by his lunch.
12:00: Read Noah stories and put him down for his nap.
12:30: lunch and relax time for momma.
1:30: Noahs usually up from his nap. Playtime together in the living room and some more tidying.
4:00: Momma preparing dinner while Noah does independent play or watches an episode of something.
5:15: Matt comes home and we have dinner, followed by daddy and Noah playtime.
6:30: Noah gets ready for and goes to bed! (Yes, he likes an early bed time!)
7:00pm: Momma & Dada have the evenings to ourselves. Ahhh...

I know some people don't like a schedule and find it isolating or whatever, but there is alot of wiggle room in there. On some days, the house work just doesn't happen or dinner ends up being something work free. But I don't like having to do housework in the evenings or on the weekends because I feel like that's 'our' time either as a family or just Matt and I.

Anyways, this works for us so I just thought I'd share. What do you other moms do? Do you keep to a schedule or is every day a 'fly by the seat of your pants' kinda thing? I'm curious what works for you!

Lazy mom

Lately I haven't felt like the best mother in the world, at least not to Noah. Although my nausea has pretty much disappeared at this point, I am still exhausted and find I just don't have the energy to get down on the floor and play with my son as much as I should. He's watching more TV then I would normally be okay with and often I just feel like laying on the couch instead of taking him outside to play.

Before when he napped it was usually my time to get things done, like cleaning and tidying up. But right now I'm using it as time to either sleep or put my feet and relax.

It makes me feel so guilty! I know pregnancy is temporary and this fatigue I am feeling right now will probably go away for the most part in the next couple of weeks, but in the meantime I am just such a slacker! I have managed to cook dinners again and keep my house in somewhat of a working order and that alone feels like an accomplishment.

My poor husband has been working overtime for weeks now. It sucks for me because it means I am totally on my own until Noah is asleep. But it also sucks for him. He doesn't get to see Noah and he comes home to a mess of a house.

I definitely don't feel like a great house wife at the moment.