Sunday, 15 April 2012

Brain overload

Does anyone else ever have times where you feel like your brain could explode because you have so many thoughts running around in your head at once?
That's me this weekend. I think it's because I've been sick with strep and Matt has taken on all Noah duties while I rest and try not to pass it along to the two of them. I've had a lot of time to think.
So, what are these random thoughts you may ask? I will attempt to divulge them, but I apologise in advance if they seem scattered.

I find myself thinking about my daily schedule at home with Noah. Is there a better routine I could be in? Am I giving him enough stimulation? Am I accomplishing what I want to each day? Am I being the best wife and mother I can be? Am I having  enough moments where I am just Carolyn?
I have recently started doing Yoga during Noah's morning nap and have been enjoying it immensely. It gives me energy and I find it a great way to kick off my day. Ive also been sleeping alot better since starting it.
I try to get together for girls nights to chat with my friends and watch movies, but I am usually still around Noah while I am doing this. Granted, he may be sleeping. But I am still in 'mommy mode' at the time.
I still feel at times like I'm lacking a real 'hobby' away from Noah. I really don't have any time when I am away from him except for when Matt and I go on date nights. But then were still out as a couple, its not just me. I think the last time I felt I was involved in something that I was really passionate about was when I did the school play last year. Hmm...
Maybe I am being unrealistic and its something I need to just get over.

I've also been thinking about our family. I've thought about when to start expanding our family. How much to expand our family. And how to go about expanding our family. I've always liked the idea of adoption - and Matt and I have talked about it casually a few times. But it intimidates me. The long process, the ups and downs, the dynamics of it all. Something to pray long and hard about for sure.

Ive also thought about how we plan to educate our children. Matt and I decided that our kids will be going one of two routes: private education or homeschooling. I really like the idea of homeschooling our children for the first few years, but not forever. Of course where we are at financially will play a big role in our decision. I grew up going to a Christian school and I have nothing but positive things to say about it. It was a wonderful experience. But I've always dreamt of my kids not only learning about history but seeing it first hand though travel. I want them to see the world. But again, I may be being unrealistic.

The last thought on my brain is how to live out our faith more in our lives as an example to Noah. Yes, we go to church every Sunday, we pray at meals and speak of Jesus as our Savior. But what are we going to do to intentionally teach Noah every day. Devotions at dinner? Bible time before bed? We need some kind of routine. We currently don't have a toddler Sunday School class at church since their are only two children under the age of two and then it jumps up to age 6 or so. Should I maybe discuss with the leadership the idea of starting one? But then what do us young moms do when a second baby comes along?

*sigh*... as you can see, oh so many thoughts rolling around. Ive said it before - my blog is my way of attempting to process things and try to make sense of them. We'll see if this post has succeeded in that.


  1. Lots to think about! I just wanted to make a comment on the last paragraph about how to live out your faith more in your lives with Noah. I would have to say that the greatest way that our children grow in faith (so far in my 5 year experience!) is just talking with them. It comes up so often. They are scared or hurt? we pray. We are thankful? we pray. We talk about heaven and being like Jesus and forgiveness and grace and you will be surprised how almost every conversation has a connection to that.

    Also, we wrestled with the school decision but in the end it became very clear to us and we are more than happy with our decision. I hope God will make it clear to you, you have some time:) Also, you can always change your mind if something isn't working.

    1. Thank you Louise! That makes alot of sense...I think I'm just looking at Noah right now and he's growing up so fast and I'm worried about getting behind. New parent fears I'm sure ;) Thanks so much for your insight. It's greatly appreciated :)

  2. Carolyn- I can SO relate to all of this. My min is always planning/thinking ahead. I think people just know when it's time to add to the family and when their family is complete. I believe God will give you peace and clarity on all of these decisions. It's just terribly hard to wait isn't it?