Monday, 3 October 2011

Paranoid mother

"Matt! Is he breathing? Did he puke?" Any odd noises from Noah cause me to shoot up out of bed to check on him and make sure he's okay.

I had a feeling I would be a paranoid mommy. I've always been a worrier, so I figured that that worry would only increase once I was responsible for my own child. It definitely did! I have a paranoia of SIDS. I try not to think about it, but whenever Noah has weird breathing patterns (which is normal for an infant) I cannot sleep. I know the odds are low but it's still scary.

Right now I am worried that Noah has a bug of some kind. He's not sleeping as usual, wants to eat smaller more frequent meals, is clingy and is fussier then normal. He doesn't have fever or a runny nose so he's probably okay. But I cant help worrying. Normally a sick child is not a big deal, but I was told a sick infant under 3 months old is a big deal. I called the doctor this morning since I had to make an appointment for Noahs shots anyways and they wantme to bring him in tomorrow of things don't change in the next 24 hours. If anything that'll give me some peace of mind.

I know worry accomplishes nothing and that God is in control of all. But it's still not easy for me to just put these thoughts out of my mind. I honestly try really hard too, but it just keeps creeping back in. Being a mommy is hard on the brain!

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